The last 4 days have been a nightmare. We left Ahmedabad on Sunday to get a flight over to Pune via Mumbai. Prior to the flight I had looked at the timings and wondered how on earth we were going to catch the 2nd flight in Mumbai with only a 50 minute gap in between. I questioned this with the travel company who assured me that it was all one ticket and would be fine.
I was stupid to listen to them. Clearly it wasn't and when I saw that our initial flight was 20 minutes late it became obvious we were going to be stuck in Mumbai.
So there we were in Mumbai with a Monsoon coming down outside with nowhere to go. Luckily the hotel arranged to send a car to pick us up and drive us the 3.5 hours to Pune. I have never driven in rain like it. Rivers were running down the roads of Mumbai and it was flooded everywhere. In those rivers was the usual rubbish so i'm glad we never broke down as I would never have stepped in it!
It was a decent drive over to Pune. We only aquaplaned once and nearly came off the road in the mountains.
We are now at our hotel in Pune which is nice. Up until Monday I was still eating mountains of curry and was happy. I was also eating medium cooked steaks and burgers. I forgot where I was!
I woke up on Tuesday morning and the Delhi Belly had hit me like a sledgehammer. I am rattling i'm taking that many tablets and am still not right. Last night I felt like all life had been drained from me. It was a horrible feeling. I have developed a great relationship with the toilet in my room.
Thankfully I think i'm getting better. I farted some air for the first time in 3 days earlier. I did play it safe by testing it out whilst sat on the toilet! Hopefully tomorrow i'll be back to normal.
It's a public holiday tomorrow and i'm taking the day off. I was going to go into the city but just read of a terror threat tomorrow and 10,000 police being deployed so i'm now a bit scared to move from the hotel. I'll make a decision tomorrow. I have been told I can see an Elephant down there if I go which i'm keen to do but don't really want to get maimed just for that.
Sorry for all the toilet talk in this post but it's been the main subject here for me the last few days. Enjoy!
1zard Abroad
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
Friday, 26 August 2011
Day of the Camel
Another interesting day in the world of livestock. Today on the way to work I saw a Camel pulling a cart down the middle of the main road. It looked awesome!
Saw the usual cattle on the way aswell but the monkey had gone today.
I found out today that the people who I thought were squatting in the construction site opposite work were in fact the people who build the thing. They live on the half finished structure in a tent thing sat around a fire. I think that would probably do my head in a bit as you'd never get away from work! I can't imagine sleeping at my desk and then waking up and carrying on the next days work.
I read a funny thing in the paper here today. They were talking about how the police had caught a man who was drink driving and they were going to report him to the licence people to get it taken off him!! Firstly it's a dry state so how the hell he got drunk is beyond me. You can't even get booze here in the hotel! Secondly how the hell did the police realise he was drink driving??? Everyone looks like they are drink driving as nobody follows any sort of traffic rules and Thirdly I think they should be concentrating on some of these things... Nobody wears a helmet on a motorbike, Kids as young as 10 seem to go around on scooters, camels are allowed on the road, cattle stand in the middle of the main road and even lie down, goats run into the road all day long, people beep there horn so there is no warning system in place here... The list goes on. Forget the drink driving and sort the other stuff out. It'll make it easier to catch them.
Apart from that i've eaten the usual curry followed by mountains of desserts and now i'm fit to burst.
Working tomorrow as there is nothing else to do.
Saw the usual cattle on the way aswell but the monkey had gone today.
I found out today that the people who I thought were squatting in the construction site opposite work were in fact the people who build the thing. They live on the half finished structure in a tent thing sat around a fire. I think that would probably do my head in a bit as you'd never get away from work! I can't imagine sleeping at my desk and then waking up and carrying on the next days work.
I read a funny thing in the paper here today. They were talking about how the police had caught a man who was drink driving and they were going to report him to the licence people to get it taken off him!! Firstly it's a dry state so how the hell he got drunk is beyond me. You can't even get booze here in the hotel! Secondly how the hell did the police realise he was drink driving??? Everyone looks like they are drink driving as nobody follows any sort of traffic rules and Thirdly I think they should be concentrating on some of these things... Nobody wears a helmet on a motorbike, Kids as young as 10 seem to go around on scooters, camels are allowed on the road, cattle stand in the middle of the main road and even lie down, goats run into the road all day long, people beep there horn so there is no warning system in place here... The list goes on. Forget the drink driving and sort the other stuff out. It'll make it easier to catch them.
Apart from that i've eaten the usual curry followed by mountains of desserts and now i'm fit to burst.
Working tomorrow as there is nothing else to do.
Thursday, 25 August 2011
Day of the Monkey
Time is flying and i'll be home in no time at all. Only a week and a half of this left.
I saw a monkey today and am well happy. I didn't think I was going to see one but there he was, as big as me sitting in a driveway of a house. It's amazing what seeing a monkey can do to your mood first thing in the morning.
It also seemed to be a day for cows. They were everywhere and made the drive to work take longer than yesterday. There were a couple of them sat on a roundabout, not actually on the roundabout but in the lanes that the cars use to go around the bloody thing. There they were content as anything whilst cars are going past them doing the usual beeping of horns.
We had our usual man at work who brings us any drink we like to our desk all day but on top of that they ordered us some lunch. They got us a Subway in. I thought i'd keep it cultural so had a Chicken Tandoori sub. Well nice. No salad or cheese though. I couldn't go as far as to have it normal today.
On the way home to other people from the UK who are working in the same office took us to a supermarket to grab some snacks. I was pleasantly surprised that the supermarket was normal looking and seemed a bit like a Tesco. The illusion was shattered as I walked to the door down the slippiest steps (we've had a Monsoon today) and when I got there had to go through a full body scanner, then take my laptop bag to be inspected and sealed and then get my camera checked and sealed. Once we'd done the shopping the bags of stuff we had bought were sealed and in order to leave the shop we had to show our receipts. Madness. I bet nobody steels anything over here though. Maybe we could do that back in the UK.
So that's about it really. I have eaten curry all night again which is nice. I'm not ill and I still look out my window onto pure poverty.
I wonder if the people across the road look over at the hotel and their kids go "What's that over there"? and the parents say "That's poverty, nothing there for you. It's much better here. Look we have goats and they don't"
That's all I have to say about today really. Let's see what wonders i'll see tomorrow. I'd be happy to see a donkey!
I saw a monkey today and am well happy. I didn't think I was going to see one but there he was, as big as me sitting in a driveway of a house. It's amazing what seeing a monkey can do to your mood first thing in the morning.
It also seemed to be a day for cows. They were everywhere and made the drive to work take longer than yesterday. There were a couple of them sat on a roundabout, not actually on the roundabout but in the lanes that the cars use to go around the bloody thing. There they were content as anything whilst cars are going past them doing the usual beeping of horns.
We had our usual man at work who brings us any drink we like to our desk all day but on top of that they ordered us some lunch. They got us a Subway in. I thought i'd keep it cultural so had a Chicken Tandoori sub. Well nice. No salad or cheese though. I couldn't go as far as to have it normal today.
On the way home to other people from the UK who are working in the same office took us to a supermarket to grab some snacks. I was pleasantly surprised that the supermarket was normal looking and seemed a bit like a Tesco. The illusion was shattered as I walked to the door down the slippiest steps (we've had a Monsoon today) and when I got there had to go through a full body scanner, then take my laptop bag to be inspected and sealed and then get my camera checked and sealed. Once we'd done the shopping the bags of stuff we had bought were sealed and in order to leave the shop we had to show our receipts. Madness. I bet nobody steels anything over here though. Maybe we could do that back in the UK.
So that's about it really. I have eaten curry all night again which is nice. I'm not ill and I still look out my window onto pure poverty.
I wonder if the people across the road look over at the hotel and their kids go "What's that over there"? and the parents say "That's poverty, nothing there for you. It's much better here. Look we have goats and they don't"
That's all I have to say about today really. Let's see what wonders i'll see tomorrow. I'd be happy to see a donkey!
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Beep Beep Beep
The above title represents the sound I have heard constantly since I arrived here in India. It seems that if you don't beep your horn you are a minority and will get nowhere in traffic. All people seem to be doing is driving and beeping the horn which kind of makes the horn a bit pointless as it's meant to be there for emergencies!! I can imagine people here just think "Oh another horn, so wha...." BANG and they are dead. Stupid! Today I saw 10 year old kids driving mopeds home from school. This is also stupid!
Anyway let me rewind to yesterday. Got to Heathrow really early and got our Premiere class flight to Mumbai (I think they changed the name to try to make it appeal to more people. It's basically business class). Lovely cabin, seats that reclined into beds to sleep on. Nice. I even pushed the boat out and ate some of the food i'd never tried before. This being a duck and chutney wrap with peppers. I even ate the raw peppers and have to say they weren't that bad.
So we got to Mumbai airport and were fast tracked through immigration and i'm thinking "This is a nice place". It was then that we approached customs and they pulled us over for having 4 laptops with us. Apparantly they reckon you can only take 1 laptop per person into the country and anything else you have to pay duty on. I told the guy they were company laptops so therefore I had not bought them so why the hell would I want to pay duty on them. We were basically bullied into giving them $300. Unfair and considering whilst all this was happening the guy talking to us was trying to barter to get the laptops through for any money I had on me I doubt any of it was above board! We paid the money and left to get our next flight to Ahmedabad.
Outside Mumbai airport we needed to get back to the upper level to depatures. I asked some guy the way and he sent us down some alleyway that had a lift that looked like it wouldn't hold a feather up and told us to get into it. I carried on, the lift got to the top, the doors opened in the arse end of the airport and next to the lift was a guy with an AK47. Nice start!
There were people everywhere, how this many people wanted to fly at midnight is beyond me. It was absolute chaos. We went to a little hut as the army guy wouldn't let us in the airport without a ticket (I explained it was an e-ticket but he was having none of it and he had a gun). We got this thing that was apparantly a ticket but was more like something i'd find in the recycling bin at work. It had someone elses old ticket printed on the back!
Finally we got in, got the plane and flew to Ahmedabad (we had 20 seats to ourself in the front of the plane as we were the only people in business class. This cheered me up)
Got to Ahmedabad airport and our driver was there to take us to the hotel. This was an experience. Some of the various things I saw were herds of cows on what looked like the motorway, wild dogs everywhere, goats on the road, people sleeping in the road, tuk tuks everywhere (beeping horns), vans that looked like they should have been taken off the road in 1940 (one guy was in the back of one balancing on some boxes asleep with the back door open!! He could have easily fallen out. No awareness of health and safety here!!) The driver said "At night we don't follow the rules of the road" as he shot across a crossroads and various red lights just missing other traffic. This place is not for nervous passengers!
We arrived at the hotel which is a very nice place but looks out of place as there is some sort of slum on the opposite side of the road (again it has cows, goats etc) and people driving like maniacs. We pulled up at a massive security gate, the driver stops the car, 4 security guards surround the car and proceed to inspect it. They lifted the bonnet, checked underneath with a mirror, got a sniffer dog in and of course they all have guns! We got through the gate to the entrance of the hotel where we had to put all of our suitcases through an x-ray machine and go through a full body scanner. (We have to do this every day!) We were finally there and I went to my room to bed!
Went to work today. Nice building, poor district across the road but inside work we have a waiter bringing me drinks. It all doesn't really add up or seem fair!! They even have a guy who mans the lift and presses the button for me. I mean what is the world coming to when you can't even press the floor you want in a lift without help!
This whole place is a bit of an eye opener for me. If I look out my window now there will no doubt be more goats and cows in the road just having a stroll in the fast lane! with people nearly knocking each other off their bikes or crashing cars.
Most of all though I will hear the beeping of bloody horns!!!
Anyway let me rewind to yesterday. Got to Heathrow really early and got our Premiere class flight to Mumbai (I think they changed the name to try to make it appeal to more people. It's basically business class). Lovely cabin, seats that reclined into beds to sleep on. Nice. I even pushed the boat out and ate some of the food i'd never tried before. This being a duck and chutney wrap with peppers. I even ate the raw peppers and have to say they weren't that bad.
So we got to Mumbai airport and were fast tracked through immigration and i'm thinking "This is a nice place". It was then that we approached customs and they pulled us over for having 4 laptops with us. Apparantly they reckon you can only take 1 laptop per person into the country and anything else you have to pay duty on. I told the guy they were company laptops so therefore I had not bought them so why the hell would I want to pay duty on them. We were basically bullied into giving them $300. Unfair and considering whilst all this was happening the guy talking to us was trying to barter to get the laptops through for any money I had on me I doubt any of it was above board! We paid the money and left to get our next flight to Ahmedabad.
Outside Mumbai airport we needed to get back to the upper level to depatures. I asked some guy the way and he sent us down some alleyway that had a lift that looked like it wouldn't hold a feather up and told us to get into it. I carried on, the lift got to the top, the doors opened in the arse end of the airport and next to the lift was a guy with an AK47. Nice start!
There were people everywhere, how this many people wanted to fly at midnight is beyond me. It was absolute chaos. We went to a little hut as the army guy wouldn't let us in the airport without a ticket (I explained it was an e-ticket but he was having none of it and he had a gun). We got this thing that was apparantly a ticket but was more like something i'd find in the recycling bin at work. It had someone elses old ticket printed on the back!
Finally we got in, got the plane and flew to Ahmedabad (we had 20 seats to ourself in the front of the plane as we were the only people in business class. This cheered me up)
Got to Ahmedabad airport and our driver was there to take us to the hotel. This was an experience. Some of the various things I saw were herds of cows on what looked like the motorway, wild dogs everywhere, goats on the road, people sleeping in the road, tuk tuks everywhere (beeping horns), vans that looked like they should have been taken off the road in 1940 (one guy was in the back of one balancing on some boxes asleep with the back door open!! He could have easily fallen out. No awareness of health and safety here!!) The driver said "At night we don't follow the rules of the road" as he shot across a crossroads and various red lights just missing other traffic. This place is not for nervous passengers!
We arrived at the hotel which is a very nice place but looks out of place as there is some sort of slum on the opposite side of the road (again it has cows, goats etc) and people driving like maniacs. We pulled up at a massive security gate, the driver stops the car, 4 security guards surround the car and proceed to inspect it. They lifted the bonnet, checked underneath with a mirror, got a sniffer dog in and of course they all have guns! We got through the gate to the entrance of the hotel where we had to put all of our suitcases through an x-ray machine and go through a full body scanner. (We have to do this every day!) We were finally there and I went to my room to bed!
Went to work today. Nice building, poor district across the road but inside work we have a waiter bringing me drinks. It all doesn't really add up or seem fair!! They even have a guy who mans the lift and presses the button for me. I mean what is the world coming to when you can't even press the floor you want in a lift without help!
This whole place is a bit of an eye opener for me. If I look out my window now there will no doubt be more goats and cows in the road just having a stroll in the fast lane! with people nearly knocking each other off their bikes or crashing cars.
Most of all though I will hear the beeping of bloody horns!!!
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Arrival in India
What a day!! I'm too tired to go on about it all so will blog tomorrow. In a nutshell i've been harrassed by customs and paid out money for something I have no idea about and i'm annoyed about it.
It's now 5am and i'm tired. Rant will be coming tomorrow.
It's now 5am and i'm tired. Rant will be coming tomorrow.
Monday, 22 August 2011
The day before travelling
Right then, i've decided that as I now do a lot of travelling with work it might be worth documenting some of the strange things I see and experience whilst i'm in different countries. (A bit like Karl Pilkington only less funny)
Tomorrow I shall be travelling to India to work for 2 weeks. I've never been anywhere before where i've had to have vaccinations before I go. Earlier this week I had 5 in both of my arms causing me to basically have what I can only describe as lead stumps on my upper body for two days.
I'm also taking Malaria tablets as apparantly I can get killed in India by something as small as a Mosquito. The side effects of Malaria tablets are "Strange Dreams"!! I already have enough strange dreams and I definitely don't need them any stranger. Imagine if i'm on the plane tomorrow and I fall asleep and have a "Strange Dream" that causes me to scream out loud! No thankyou!
So i'm looking forward to the trip tomorrow and will blog about my first experiences in what will become my home for the next fortnight.
Tomorrow I shall be travelling to India to work for 2 weeks. I've never been anywhere before where i've had to have vaccinations before I go. Earlier this week I had 5 in both of my arms causing me to basically have what I can only describe as lead stumps on my upper body for two days.
I'm also taking Malaria tablets as apparantly I can get killed in India by something as small as a Mosquito. The side effects of Malaria tablets are "Strange Dreams"!! I already have enough strange dreams and I definitely don't need them any stranger. Imagine if i'm on the plane tomorrow and I fall asleep and have a "Strange Dream" that causes me to scream out loud! No thankyou!
So i'm looking forward to the trip tomorrow and will blog about my first experiences in what will become my home for the next fortnight.
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